Of Tomato and Tamatar - Home Version

After taking a long hiatus from writing, I’m back. Thanks for all the readers for their reminders. Well thanks to everyone except one: No thanks to Bhawna for waking me up on a Sunday at 7am to remind me that I haven’t written a blog entry for a while!

Anyway, I am back, and have a lot of material for a few blog entries. Before I go into the details of this one, a quick summary of where we are (wrt the move to India) these days. We have totally settled into our life in Gurgaon, have started identifying “our” restaurants and “our” sabziwala, Indus Insights is as exciting and demanding as ever, our squash game has improved (thanks to the court in our apartment complex) and we no longer stop at red lights if there isn’t a compelling reason to. So, as our dear friend Kashyap puts it, we have passed the two stages of moving back (Stage I: “losing the romanticism”, and Stage II: “desperately wanting to move back”), and are onto the third stage – “being a part of the problem”.

While there’s so much to share, I’ll continue from where I left off. In my last article, I was talking about some minor differences between how Amreeka operates and how this country functions / tries to function. Drawing a parallel to MS Windows, this blog entry is the “Home” version, the next one will the “Professional” version, wherein I’ll talk about how the professional life is different. So without further ado:

• Hello hello bol key

Every country has a different set of introduction etiquette, and India is no exception. Infact, in many ways, it is similar to the US than many other Asian countries. But there are some interesting differences. The obvious one is that women usually don’t shake hands (either with men or with other women). So when our property broker would come every morning, he’d shake hands with me. Neha would get a 2 arms distance, a dazzling smile, and a “Namaste Madam, kaisey ho aap?” (Namaste madam, how are you?).

The other piece that is not immediately obvious is the myriad different ways of shaking hands that we desis have come up with:

(1) “Handle with care” Handshake: Looks like a regular handshake, but the grasp is extremely gentle, as if the other person is concerned that he might break your bones

(2) “Hold you forever” Handshake: The handshake has a regular start, but the end…well, you keep waiting for it, and it never comes. So you end up holding the hand of another guy for an awkward 30,45,60,120,…seconds

(3) “Multitasker” Handshake: The handshaker has something else in his hands (keys, his 2nd cellphone,…) and can’t/won’t keep this stuff in his pocket. He goes on to multitask, with some of his fingers holding on to his stuff, and extends a finger or two towards you. How you proceed is your call

(4) “Mother of the Multitasker” Handshake: Similar to the “Multitasker” handshake, but this time there’s larger stuff in the guy’s hand. Example range from a water bottle, as shown below, to a kicking and screaming baby (yes, that was my first experience with this handshake). The solution – the handshaker extends his wrist out to you. Quite awkward when it first happens to you, coz you are left wondering what to do with the extended wrist. Do you give it a wrist bump, do you extend your wrist out as well, or do you just waive a hello? Here’s what we did:

• Pass yaa fail

We go to a restaurant and order some food. As we wrap up the food, the waiter asks Neha if she would want some dessert (he asked the right person for sure!). Not sure what comes over Neha (she usually doesn’t say no to such questions), but she says, “Thanks, I’ll pass”. The waiter gives us completely bewildered looks, and asks the question again. Neha has the same reply. He thinks about it for a few seconds and then says, “Is that a yes or no?” The poor guy was wondering why was Neha telling her her expected examination results, and moreover, if she was so confident that she’d pass, she should be celebrating by ordering some desserts!

• To eat or not to eat

Similar to the one above, but with a role reversal. Its my first time at Haldiram’s – the chaat and fast food place. I order a Raj Kachori (the #1 ordered item at the place) and get a coupon for it. I go to the chaat area and give the coupon to the server. He looks at it and says “Hmm, Raj Kachori. Khana hai?” ("Do you want to eat it?") Similar to the waiter in the story above, I’m totally bewildered. I mean what all activities can you do with a Raj Kachori? I start thinking about all the various potential uses, and feel like one of the comedians on the prop round of “Whose Line is it Anyway” who have to come up with as many bizarre uses for the same prop as possible. After convincing myself that the guy isn’t thinking that I’m interested in just smelling the Kachori, and that throwing the Kachori at the face of another patron and starting a “Kachori Fight” isn’t probably what ppl do, I go with the offensive route. “Khanee hee hai, aur kya karoonga. Hadh hai!” ("What the heck, of course I want to eat it. What else would I do with it?"). The guy says “Sir, gussa kyon ho rahey ho, pack bhee kara saktey ho” ("Sir, why get angry, you could also get it packed"). Lesson learnt – the “khana hai?” question is the equivalent of the “For Here / To Go?” phrase in the US. Incidentally, that phrase also had me confused for a while in the US (more so because it is spoken so quickly)

• Co-existence w/ nature

Living in India means co-existing with other living variants of the non-flora kind. No matter how picky you are, how well designed your doors and windows are, which restaurant you are visiting, you’ll come across a few insects/rodents here and there. We saw a rat at a Haldiram’s, I have killed two lizards in our apartment so far (and scared off a few more), and the monsoons have brought with them a steady supply of random insects with <12 hours of average lifespan. Our first experience with this co-existing phenomenon happened at an Airtel customer service center. As we were explaining to the agent the kind of plan we needed for our blackberry, out crawled a baby cockroach, straight onto the agent’s desk – about a foot from Neha’s hand. Neha happened to notice it, and tried to induce a heart attack in the poor animal by giving out a 120 dB shriek. As everyone turned around to see what calamity had befallen on us, the agent asked Neha what had happened. Neha conveyed her big discovery – “there is a cockroach here!” The guy looked around, saw the insect in the limelight, and shrugged it off by saying “So what, it’s such a small one”. Needless to say, Neha was left speechless.

I guess I’ll leave everyone with this mental image of a baby cockroach. More material coming up pretty soon. And yeah, don’t forget to rate this blog entry by clicking on the options below.

Cheers,

D

You say tomato, I say tamatar

Having spent a fair bit of time outside the country, I consider myself part foreigner and part Indian. One of the advantages of being a part foreigner is that you get to observe the differences in how people act & interact – those minor things that a local doesn't notice, but a traveler finds amusing. So here are some of the interesting tidbits I’ve seen so far:

• Double 1 and Triple 2

When saying numbers, such as phone numbers or bank account numbers, people here have a tendency of using “double” or “triple”. The funny thing is that if you don’t use it, they will get confused and ask for a clarification. Case in point - my phone number is xxx43222. During our initial few days, when asked for my contact info, I would say “…four three two two two”. Quickly would come the verification – “Triple Two?”, as if I had committed a grave folly of calling 222 as "two two two" instead of "triple 2", and that the mistake needed to be corrected right away. This happened 100% of the time, whether we were talking in person or over the phone, to a business contact or a call center agent. (By the way, I have seen the opposite as well. Desis trying to use double 1 and triple 2 in the US, with little success. No one understands it over there).

There was a funny incident with this number reporting when someone gave me his number as “blah blah four three…”. I got the number, repeated it and he said that it was ok. I told the guy that a couple of digits seemed to be missing. After a few minutes of back and forth explanation, I realized that he was trying to shorten “3333”, didn’t want to say “double three double three” and probably hadn’t heard the word quadruple – hence the confusing “four three”.

• Sahab, Biwi aur Gulam

Noticed something a few weeks back that struck me as a bit strange. A Merc stopped in front of a mall, “madam” got out immediately from the back seat from one side of the car, and then waited in the sweltering heat. The driver then applied the parking brakes etc, unbuckled himself, got out of the front seat, and opened the rear door for the “Sahab” to get out. What struck me as weird were two things. First, why would a perfectly fit person wait for a minute or two in car (while his wife is waiting outside in the heat) for the driver to open the door instead of opening it himself? I mean it’s one thing to not carry heavy stuff or to not chop vegetables (saves time and effort), but it's totally a different thing to not open a freakin' car door. Come on!

Second thing that was odd was that the driver opened the “Sahab” door, not the “Madam” door. This is something I have seen on numerous occasions. In the US, it’s the women who get preferential treatment – people will open the doors for you, waiters will ask the women for their order first, etc. It’s the opposite in India – there seems to be a fair bit of sexism, even in a city like Delhi. Not that I am complaining :)

• Sheet sizes and the square root of 2

This one is more of a nerdy piece of fact. Regular paper size in India (and most of the world) is A4. In the US, it’s a “letter” size. To satisfy my curiosity on these differences (and to take a break from client development), I did a bit of research into the topic. On the surface, the US letter, with a size of 8.5” x 11” sounds sensible (round numbers), as compared to the bizarre 210mm x 297mm (8.3” x 11.7”) dimensions of an A4 sheet. But delve a bit deeper and you’ll uncover some practical logic behind the “A” series. So here it goes:

The largest size in the A series is an A0 with the dimensions of 841mm x 1189mm. Why the bizarre size? Well, if you multiply the two, you get the area of the sheet as one sq. meter, which is not a coincidence. Then why not 1000 mm x 1000 mm, why choose these seemingly bizarre dimensions? There’s a reason for that - if you take the ratio of 1189 by 841 you get 1.414, which is the square root of 2. This is a special ratio – what it implies is that if you fold the sheet in half parallel to the shorter side (so that the new dimensions are 1189/2 = 594 x 841), your resulting sheet still has the same aspect ratio of 1.414 (=841/594). This size, by the way, is size A1. Repeat the process a couple more times, and you now have a size A4 sheet. So you can get all the A sized sheets just by folding an A0, and all these resulting sheets will have the same aspect ratio. Implication - if you are enlarging or reducing material, the result doesn’t come out to be stretched or squished. Pretty logical, eh? I guess I am now a convert to A4!

That’s it for now. There’s more coming up in the “tomato-tamatar” series soon – it’s going to be about handshakes, about eating out, and about passing up on things. Stay tuned. And yes, cast your vote on this blog entry below.

- D

And the deed is done

Yes, the deed (i.e. the move) is done! We were reunited with all of our belongings a few weeks back (April 10th or so). Needless to say, we were very excited as can be seen below

(Neha is totally overjoyed to see her beloved dresser. For reasons best known to her, she's completely in love with this dresser that we bought for $40 in DC. Maybe its because this was probably the first piece of furniture we bought as a couple. Or maybe the love comes out of all that we had to go through to get it - Pentagon security, a military hummer with an LMG (Light Machine Gun) aimed at us, drive escorted by a cop convoy...)

Our good luck seemed to continue. The delivery supervisor had told us that they would get to our apartment between 8:30 and 9:00. We had laughed off at it ("who gets up at 9 in India!!"). Surprise, surprise - our intercom buzzed at 8:45 - "Sahab, samaan delivery vaaley aayein hain". Wow! Really, am I in India?

The guys started delivering the stuff....and soon enuff there were walls of boxes all around:

They were done by about 4. We were overjoyed to find out that there was no major damage - all the glass & china kitchenware, our glass hutch and cupboard with glass doors, all the electronics - everything came completely intact. It was as if someone hit control-x in Chicago, and control-v in Gurgaon. The dresser mirror didn't survive the journey though...but that was it. Kudos to Suddath/Sentry (http://www.suddath.com/) - our movers - on a job very well done. Highly recommended.

As we started unpacking, we came across some really interesting things that the movers had packed. We told them to pack everything, and they followed the directions completely. What came out of the boxes(besides other things):

• 2 rolls of Toilet Paper
• 4 bottles of ice mountain water - 2 of which were empty!
• Appliance manuals that belonged to our landlords

 (Back to square one! Some India made snacks complete the journey from India to the US and back)

 As the unpacking progressed, we realized that we had too much of wrapping / packing paper everywhere. So I started doing what smart people do to grapes to create alcohol, as seen here:

Only difference between the above and my paper crushing experience is that I look slightly different (equally attractive nonetheless), and that this was done in HA (Haryana) instead of CA (California):

(Me, stuffing packing paper back into empty boxes. Useless rule of thumb - about 3-4 boxes of paper can be packed into an empty box. Maybe more if you aren't as fit as I am, and tend to be on the heavier side :) )

So that's all about the move!

Other News Part 1 - the Axis bank account got opened in 5 business days. I am not going to hold it against the bank that I was told 2-3 business days. This was leaps and bounds better than Shitty-bank. I guess no more business to Shitty-bank.

Other News Part 2 - I've been reading a bit about Web Analytics. To put the theory into practice, I am starting to collect some feedback on my blog posts. From now on, each post will have a poll at the bottom to get your reaction in one click. Options are: Blah/Boring, Mild, or Interesting. Please let me know what you think of the blog posts (and be honest - you won't offend me!).
- D

Close Call

Got up this morning and checked the news. Turns out that the container depot (ICD) that we had visited two days back, and where our stuff was stored for a few days, caught fire yesterday.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Crores-go-up-in-flames-at-depot/articleshow/5783112.cms

It took about 12 hours for the firefighters to control the blaze. Thankfully there were no personal injuries, but the loss to property is sizeable - unofficial estimates for the total loss are around INR 500 crores (USD 110 MM). This happened hardly a day after our stuff had moved out of that warehouse! Close call...I guess a thank you trip to the nearest Mandir is on the charts now.

- D

Sometimes you are the bug, sometimes you are the windshield

The last two days have definitely been windshield days for the two of us (Knock on wood)! Thanks for the well wishes of all of our readers.

The story started with our movers telling us that our shipment will be at the customs depot in Delhi on Thursday. Our 20 feet container, after being packed in Chitown, had been sent by rail to Jacksonville, FL, from there to Mumbai Port, and from there by rail to the ICD (Inland Container Depot) in Tughlakabad, Delhi. Upon hearing the news, Neha gave me a demo of what would happen if she had springs in her feet – the jumping-out-of joy continued for a full five munutes!

The joy was followed by a fair bit of anxiety about getting our stuff cleared through customs - how many wheels would we have to grease, how many babus would be involved, what would be the total number of Gurgaon to Tughlakabad trips we’d have to make, who would we have to reach out for jaan-pehchaan, etc etc. Well, we had a pleasant surprise in store for us.

The day started on a great note. We were asked to get to the depot at 12 noon. Assuming that it meant sometime between 1-5pm, we got there at 1pm. To our surprise, our agent was waiting for us at the ICD ("Sir, I've been waiting since 11:30" Wow!). The ICD was completely abuzz with activity – flat bed trucks, cars, people everywhere. I got the impression that most of the people were importers/exporters, waiting to get their goods cleared. Our agent guided us to the customs area, where there was an air-conditioned lounge for visitors. Imagine that – an air-conditioned room, in a sarkaari warehouse, together with a bunch of couches, tables, etc! Of course, with temperature at 43 celsius, this was a welcome relief.

(Above: The access road to the ICD. The trucks on both the sides convert the road into a one lane road. We had to drive a bit in reverse to let another truck cross. Also had to drive over a dead dog, despite N's vehement protests.)

We quickly went through the list of electronics with our agent, talked to the superintendent, gave him the reason for the move (“Sir, -40 celsius mein bahut rah liye, to socha kuch time +40 mein bhee rah kar dekhen”), and walked to where our stuff was piled up in the warehouse. He looked at the pile, looked at us, and gave one of those part-nod-part-grunt reactions that is so typical of government officials who often decide the fate of the “aam aadmi”. We later on learnt that it meant that he was comfortable with our declaration of values, and didn’t want to inspect any of the items. (The average, our agent told us, is that half of the electronic items are opened, and there is a “negotiation” about the value of most items. Thankfully, we didn’t have to go through any of that). We retreated back to our comfortable lounge, signed a few papers, paid a measly duty of INR 8k, and by 3pm, were back in our car. Start to finish, the entire process was complete in a total of 2 hours.

(Above: The main building of the ICD in Tughlakabad, Delhi - customs warehouse is to the right. ICDs, also known as "Dry Ports", have been developed across the country to ease congestion at the major sea ports. Goods can be shipped direclty to/fro the ICD - customs clearance et al)

Our movers told us to expect the truck to arrive at our place in Gurgaon between 8:30 and 9 am the next day (“Yeah right”, we told ourselves, “as if anyone even wakes up in India before 9am!”). Still quite excited about how seamless the customs process went, we celebrated by stopping over at PVR Saket on our way back for some Kathi rolls, McD’s burgers and Giani’s ice cream.

For those interested in more details about shipping stuff to India, here’s a quick summary:

Your options are either taking a full 20 ft. container, or taking smallers loads that are in 1/5th increments of a full container. A full container is more than enough if you live in a 3 bedroom place, and are taking back most of your household stuff (except appliances). The way the math works, if you are taking more than 2 of the smaller loads (2/5th of a container), you might as well take a full container. We ended up moving everything we had in Chicago, which obviously required a full container. Depending upon how much you negotiate and what the customs duties are, a move from the US to India costs about USD 7.5-9k. This covers everything – you don’t have to lift a finger anywhere, except for showing up at the customs location. They pack, ship, and deliver all your stuff to you.

Regarding customs, if you have been in the US for a while, you can claim a “TR” (Transfer of Residence). The eligibility criterion is that you should not have spent a cumulative 180 days or more in India in the last two years. Unlike what some people told us, you don’t need to have a TR certificate issued from the Indian consulate. The customs department form at the port (ICD for us) will ask for details on entry and exit from India in the last two years, and you will need to have your passport to prove it. That's the only proof that is required.

If you are claiming TR, nearly all used household items are exempt from duty. The exceptions are:

(1) Electronics: the first piece is taxed at 15%, the second at 35%. (So if you are taking two TVs, you would claim 15% on the more expensive one, and 35% on the other). One set of computer (PC + monitor + printer) is free – but you need a PC to prove that there is a set. Just a monitor or printer doesn’t work. Remember, this is for used stuff, not if you are taking a brand new piece, in original packaging!

(2) Alcohol: there is some crazily small threshold (1 litre or so) beyond which you are taxed at some insane rate (300% or something). We didn’t bother to take any liquor (N misses the Muscatos)

(3) Vehicle: used vehicles are taxed heavily (100% I believe), but are still a good deal because quality vehicles are pretty expensive in India (An accord sells for about USD 40k), and the used market is not well developed. BUT this only works if you are moving from the UK (or another country where you drive on the left side of the road). Vehicles with left-sided driver’s seats are no longer permitted to be imported to India (sorry my dear bimmer, but this is the reason why we had to bid adieu. Heartless bureaucrats!). I confirmed by asking our agent about it when I saw a few cars in the warehouse. His response “Sir, they just stay here, because of the new law prohibiting left-handed drive cars. People don’t want to pay so much duty and then have the necessary alteration done. Not a good idea to bring cars”

So that's that. We had our mini-celebration, came back to Gurgaon, and made a few calls to family and friends, who told us - "See, India isn't that bad. We told you". I hope it stays that way!

(Above: We saw this car at an intersection while coming back. The owner had the entire dashboard fitted with a thick, shaggy brown carpet. There was also a miniature gorilla hanging out (left of the central A/c vents). Interesting taste I must say!)

- D

Tomorrow Never Comes

One of the first items on the to-do list of anyone who settles into a new country is to open a bank account. We were no different. After all, you need a bank account for two key things: (1) to make a security deposit on your apartment and to issue post-dated rent checks, and (2) to pay for the car you will be buying. In order to make things smoother and quicker, I had a rupee demand draft (the equivalent of a banker’s check) drawn up in my favor by the State Bank of India Chicago Branch. (Yes, there is an SBI branch in Chitown). I figured that with a demand draft issued for the Delhi branch in my hand, it would only take a few days to open an account and get access to the funds. Little did I know…

I think my first mistake was walking into a Shitty-bank branch as compared to some of the larger desi banks. I’ll blame it partly on the fact that I felt comfortable dealing with an international bank, given that I expected a fair bit of forex transactions in my accounts. Also, the branch was right next to the McDonald’s where we had our lunch, so it looked like a no-brainer. In any case, Neha and I walked into the Shitty-bank’s branch, talked about the expected value of our accounts (including our corporate account), and immediately got the attention of a relationship manager. I now call this gentleman “Clueless Aggarwal”, for reasons that will become very apparent to the readers in a bit (That's how I have saved his name on my cell). Clueless Aggarwal talked about how quickly they could setup our accounts. Then a series of calls followed:

Day 2:
Clueless: “Sir, to verify your address I need either a rental lease or a real estate ownership document”
Me: “Well, I am at a temporary apartment for a month. Can I get you an invoice from them?”
Clueless: “That should work”

Day 3:
Clueless: “Sir, I just checked, and as per RBI guidelines, your temporary apartment invoice won’t work. Can’t you give an electricity bill / phone bill?”
Me: “This is a temporary apartment – I don’t get phone/electricity bills. Why don’t you use my parents’ address in Jodhpur – that’s my permanent address anyway. And please tell me everything you need in one go. This can’t be delayed any further.”
Clueless: “Yes sir. That should work”

Day 4:
Clueless: “Sir, thanks for sending the scanned copies of the utility bills. I’ll make sure that we start with our verification process”

Day 5:
Clueless: “Sir, I just learnt that because we don’t have a branch in Jodhpur,we cannot do a verification over there”
Me: “Can’t you make a phone call / send someone”?
Clueless: “No Sir, I don’t think that will be possible”
Me: “Look buddy. I’ve pretty much had it with you. It’s been 5 days, and you haven’t been able to open an account. Can you tell me if you can open a bank account in the next 24 hours or not”
Clueless: “Sir, let me find out”
Me: “When will you tell me?”
Clueless: “By 9am tomorrow”

Day 6:
Me: “It’s 10am. Do you have an update for me?”
Clueless: “Sir, I can get an answer for you in the next 30 minutes”
Me: “Take your time and think before giving me a timeline. If by that time you don’t have an answer, I’ll take my business elsewhere. So, once again, are you saying that you will have an answer by 10:30?”
Clueless: “Sir, in that case, please make it 11:00”
Me: “Ok. But are you sure? As I told you, I don’t like moving timelines. Once we agree on a timeline, it is locked in. This is your opportunity, do you want more time?”
Clueless: “Sir, how about 12 noon”
Me: “Ok, I’ll make it 1pm”
Clueless: “Thank you sir”

3pm that day:
Me: “So do you have an answer?”
Clueless: “Sir, I’m trying to find out – we are talking to blah blah”
Me: “I am on my way to your branch. Please keep my draft ready – I’ll come and pick it up. I don’t want to deal with you any more.”

3:05pm:
Head of Account Acquisitions: “Sir please stay with us, I promise that we’ll have an answer for you by close of business today”

I finally got a confirmation at 9pm that an account will indeed be opened. Imagine that – just for an account opening. And I was in their preferential customer list – Shitty-gold they call it!
On Day 8, I enquired as to when will the funds from the draft will be available. Clueless told me that a draft takes the same amount of time to get cleared as a check. I told him that he had no clue about his job. I called up the head of account acquisitions and he said that a draft should not take more than a day.

On Day 9, I got an automatic email saying that the draft had been cleared. Meanwhile my car dealer has started bugging me to make the payment and pick up the car.

On Day 10, I got an automatic email saying that my draft had bounced. I had never heard of a draft getting bounced. My dad also called me since I had given his cell number and he had received an identical SMS. He told me “Betaa, draft kaisey bounce hotaa hai, pataa chaley to hamey bhee batana”

On Day 13, we finally got our funds. We picked up our car the same day.

So it took us 8 working days, infinite phone calls, and a lot of shouting, screaming & threatening to get an account opened! And a total of 13 days to get access to funds that were issued to a local branch. This is when I was bringing a ton of business to the bank, without them having to do anything. Overall, it was quite a frustrating experience, especially because we couldn't pick up our car until we had the funds, and commuting to Gurgaon without a car is impossible.

Lessons learnt:
- Shitty-bank is pretty shitty in India. HDFC and Axis are wayyyyy better
- Timelines mean zilch in most cases. Everything will be done tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes
- People don’t say a no to anything ("Ho jayegaa jee"). Instead of being upfront and letting you know about potential issues, there is a tendency to hide things, and unravel issues as they come up ("Sir, ek chotee see problem hai")
- Shouting, screaming, and threatening are very much a part of the game
- Even if you are bringing business to people, it is you who needs to follow up!

So that’s all about the account opening process. I started the process for the corporate account of Indus Insights this Monday with Axis Bank. Today is Day 3. Let’s see…

-D

Seriously, who comes up with these?

A quick post with a few pics of random ads/notices. Enjoy!

Edit - You can click on the pics to enlarge them, so that they are readable.

(1) Leaflet in the daily delivery of Times of India. Comes with a guarantee. The literal translation from Hindi to English caught my eye ("As you wish, will Be As" - to name one)

(2) If you don't have a hundred bucks to afford the guy mentioned above, don't despair. As long as you are fine with talking in Hindi, you can get by with just fifty rupees (see below). Again, comes with a guarantee. Notice all the issues that he can solve ("Sautan & dushman sey chutkara,...")

(3) And finally, my personal favorite. This is a public service notice from Delhi Police, posted inside an ATM booth. Highly recommend clicking on the pic and reading every point for yourself!

Few things of note: If you are a lady who is out of cash, and don't have any male company, sorry, but you are out of luck. Don't use the ATM (per #3). If you do, and end up being chased by a suspicious person, don't even think of informing the police or the guard (per #2). Its only once the mishap has occurred that you should inform the police (per #9). And if all of this makes you feel gloomy and depressed, Delhi police suggests you to not "loose" heart and have courage (per #9).

- D

Beginner's Luck ?

“When you want something, the whole universe conspires to help you realize your dream”

- Paul Coelho (The Alchemist) and Shah Rukh Khan (Om Shanti Om)

Maybe it was beginner’s luck. Maybe it was the whole universe conspiring to help us out, as stated by the Great Khan. Or maybe it was a case of having extremely low opinions to begin with. Whatever the reason, there were a few pleasant surprises that came early on in our return to India. So let’s start on a happy note and talk about these:

(1) The Airport: When I landed at the Delhi airport 1.5 years back, the first thing I noticed was a strong smell of piss (No – I am not kidding). The second thing that left a mark was a barrage of cab-wallahs - all trying to get me in their particular auto/cab. The third thing that struck me was a complete lack of decent snacking facilities.

Not this time. The airport is pretty clean and slick these days. Also, there are some really practical facilities that put most US airports to shame. Case in point – laptop stations where you can station your laptop and work. Another one – free-for-use chargers for mobile phones, neatly arranged by manufacturer. Another – free wi-fi. To sum it up, while waiting in the terminal area, you can work on your laptop while charging your phone.

As soon as you step out, there’s something that is extremely conspicuous by its absence - it’s the complete lack of taxidrivers pushing and pulling you. Not a single person will solicit you! If you want a cab ride, there’s a pre-paid stall both inside the terminal and outside. All cabs are air-conditioned, and the driver will not talk over the cellphone all the time (remember the desi/paki cabbies in the US?)

Finally, there are some decent restaurants (“Street Foods of India” isn’t too bad), both inside and outside the terminal. So if you must have that chaat that you’ve been craving for all the time in the US, you can satisfy your taste buds before even leaving the airport. And much to my surprise, the McDonald's inside the domestic terminal was open at 4am, and was serving hot breakfast!

(2) Phone cab services: A few “phone-a-cab” services have sprung up in the major cities. I used Meru cab a few times, and was completely blown away by their service. You talk to them, book your cab, they give you a confirmation number. Then, 30 minutes before your pickup time, you get an SMS with the phone number of the driver and the cab’s license plate number. Your cab usually arrives 5-10 minutes before your pick up time. All cabs are air-conditioned, have an untampered digital odometer, and have a set Rs/km fare (15 Rs per km.). Everything works like it should, and the whole setup is pretty reliable (I tested it at 3:30 am for an early morning flight).

(3) Transportation: NH-8. MG Road. Ring Road. Metro. Looks like the NCR area has progressed by leaps and bounds in the last few years. Most cars drive at 80-100 km/h on NH-8 between Gurgaon and Delhi (except for high traffic times). Roads are well maintained, and potholes are rarely found (Yes, you still come across a few cows every now and then).

But why take the road, when you can hop on the Metro. It is quick, is probably safer, is pretty comfortable, and damn cheap (A 30 minute ride cost me Rs. 16 or about $0.35. No wonder it’s been such a big hit among Delhiites. I’ve taken the metro a few times, and look forward to doing it again - feels like such an upgrade from the rickety CTA trains of Chicago. Having said that, I must add that the metro gets extremely crowded during peak hours and the system capacity is probably way below the demand. But it's a phenomenal start. Overall, I have been fairly impressed by the transportation in the NCR area, though good quality public transportation is still not close to the standards in the western world. But the metro system is changing things very quickly.


So that’s it for now. All lists must have three points, and I’m done with the three for this list :) Hopefully some of this is new for people reading the blog. By the way, if things sound too sugar-coated / too-good-to-be-true, wait for the next entry. Beginner's luck doesn't last forever!

More Pics

Pics with slightly better resolution this time:

(Above: The surprise greeting party. Left to right: Mummy, Shailesh (my friend from Jodhpur, currently in Gurgaon), Papa, Bhai, Shanky (Shailesh's son), Myself, Sania (Shailesh's daughter), Santosh, Kuhu, Bhabhi and Peehu)

(Above: The wonderful home made khaana we were treated to as soon as we got setup in our temp apartment. Poori, Aaloo kee sabzi, ker-sangri, Dal ka halwa, Keri kee launji)

(Above: Cute looking Peehu, who is always smiling)

(Above: Kuhu and her Chachi playing Holi)

(Above: The mice will party when the cat's away - Sharma Brothers enjoying a relaxing evening with a few drinks while Mum Pa have gone for a walk)

Say Cheese

Some pics from the first day in India:


(Above: The entire family gave me a surprise. Also in the pic is Shailesh and his family - Shailesh was the enabler of the surprise)
(Above: We landed on a very "Holi-Day". Dadu and Chachi (in a borrowed GSB t-shirt) with Kuhu)

(Above: The lovely new member in our family - Peehu. She has 5 times as much hair on her head that I do)

Namaste!

Namaste India!



So we are back! After spending a long time outside the country - 8 years for me, and about 25 years for Neha - we are back in "Desh". Given that the decision to come back was something that we (and tons of our friends) had spent countless hours debating, I thought it would be a worthwhile exercise to keep a regular log of what we go through as we rediscover our own country once again. The goal is threefold (spoken like a true consultant):

• To preserve memories of what is going to be an interesting adventure, so that Neha and I can look back and enjoy
• Many of our close friends in the US are quite interested in knowing all the major happenings, as well as the minor but interesting tidbits, associated with our move back. I hope that this blog will act as a substitute, albeit a poor one, for a nice chat session by the fireplace wherein we would have shared all the gory & funny details
• Finally, I hope to share some factual (and some emotional) information about the move as well. When we discussed the move with others, we came across a lot of adjectives and very few facts ('too expensive', 'too' this or 'little' that). I plan to share some more nouns and numbers - hopefully it will useful for people mulling over the same decision of moving back vs. not

So that's that - we now know what this blog will be all about. The hardest piece is already done - I'm over the hump of inertia! :)

Before I start sharing actual stories and incidents, I figured that to get started, how about a quick pulse-check on what we are feeling, after spending about a month in India. Instead of summarizing everything in a neat framework or a pithy statement, here's what I've done. I made Neha and myself list down, within 2 minutes, the top words that come to mind about the move. (Words, Phrases, Hinglish, ...anything). There were only two rules: don't repeat something that you have already written, and don't force yourself to balance goods vs. bads, etc. Here's the result (in random order) - words/phrases that both of us independently wrote down are bolded:

• Crazy Decision of moving back


• Frustration


• "Ho jayega sir/madam"


• Kadai paneer pizza


• Unprofessionalism


• "Double 1 and Triple 2" (Instead of saying 11222)


• "Mattha-pachhi"


• Home Delivery of everything


• Family


• "Dhakka-mukki"


• SMS and "missed call maarna"


• Hand-washed car daily


• No punctuality


• Awesome food (I broke my own rule and wrote this down three times)


• Not have to lift a finger


• More grey hair


• Domestic help


• Fight maaro for everything


• Power cuts


• Inexpensive


• Tiring


• Hassles


• Have to follow-up with everyone


• "Jee" (as in "Neha Jee", "Saurabh Jee")


• "How does this country even work?"


• Pleasant surprise


• Need to know the right guy


• Why did we do this? (move back)


• Desi movies and songs


• Zero trust on everyone


• There are oases in the desert


• Updates to family


• Traffic


• Dust


• Waiting for people


• No shelf liner

So that's it - a quick shout out of whatever we've felt so far. More details in upcoming posts - keep reading!

- D